Saturday, July 23, 2011

Questions answered

"Maybe start talking by how this kind of relationship is because I have a little idea but might be wrong."

There are many elements required to create and maintain a Master slave relationship. Some are specifically D/s but many are not, although they are essential to the healthy development of an ownership based relationship.

Communication: It is essential that the Master fosters a non- judgemental means by which the slave can express herself. Verbal communication is common but a Master will often introduce many other means by which he develops access to the slaves inner most self. Journalling or letter writting, e-mails and mailing lists are common but a Master will also spends a great deal of time observing his slave because he needs to know how she "works" in order to control her.
Equally a master [because he is Master] has no fear of repraisals from his slave. She is not in a position to "punish" him for his behaviour or thoughts as a vanilla partner would be. He is able to promote what his preferences are and forbid those practices he finds displeasing, in this way the slave is given unique access to his innermost thoughts and desires.

Honesty: The dynamic of power in an ownership relationship also removes the need to play "games". In a vanilla context we are discouraged from asking for what we would like [it's not seen as polite to do so] equally we are pressured not to refuse someones desires [even if we believe it is against the interests of that person or our relationship.] Self sacrifice is promoted as honorable.

Trust and love: I say love as well because someone else pointed it out. it is a key factor, but trust first. In a Master-slave relationship one of the best ways a Master can show love and a slave show her devotion is by the giving of attention. [To such an extent that the withdrawl of a Masters attention is one of the most effective puishments some women have experienced.] Slaves see time together [alone] as very precious and they guard it fiercely. Those who have children often make a great effort to retain "special" time for each other. Master's devise all sorts of weird and wonderful ways to keep themselves the center of their slaves thoughts throughout the day.
All these things [and many more I have not touched upon] are means by which we drive our relationship. In essence, however, they are all things that, if the D/s element were removed, could create and sustain a sound, loving and happy vanilla relationship.
The communication and honesty. The lack of games playing, the focus of each other's attention and the respect for each others thoughts and feelings. Loyalty, love, integrity and respect, aren't those the very things every and any good relationship should be founded in?
The idea of submission is extremely appealing to many women.


Before pursuing a Master-slave relationship there are questions to ask, qustions far more profound than simply "am I submissive/dominant"?

Answer honestly when you ask yourself:
Exactly which elements of an ownership based relationship appeals to me? 
Do I really need the level of control and discipline that such a relationship offers? 
Do I need a Dominant/submissive element in my life? 
What degree of D/s would I be happy with? 
Do I need to retain some degree of control to be happy?
Would introducing some of the elements [listed above] be enough to make my relationship what I want? 
Do I need more? 
How much more do I think I need? 
Is submission/dominance my reality?

The fact is Master-slave relationships do not work for everyone, they are not right for everyone. However, the elements used to drive a Master-slave relationship can be instrumental in sustaining a good, loving and healthy relationship [including a relationship with no D/s elements whatsoever.]
Before embarking on the search for a Master or slave be very sure that your fundemental need is to be owned or to own.

Friday, July 22, 2011

OK, about the S & M lifestyle

well, you guys wanted it so here it is. This is THE user based information about a lifestyle i have lived for now at least forever. if you have questions please by all means post it under THIS post, and ill make another blog about your question alone, with intricate detail of what you want to know. Now lets get started shall we?


What is the number one thing in a S & M relationship?

you probably said love right? not really

TRUST is the key. love can actually come later. Without trust you have no way of knowing how long it will last. the slave must completely trust the master to make the "big" Decisions about whats good for them and for the slave, and the Master, must completely trust the slave to make him happy and to make sure his needs are fulfilled. lets face it ladies, its a tedious task to pick up the baggage some of you bring and we get tired from it, not of it, from it. if you have kids, it gets tiring of taking care of them sometimes doesnt it? making sure whats best for your kid regardless if they like it or not? kinda like that. now knowing that you are taken care of, do you want to make things harder for the master? or would you like to take some of the pressure off? if you answered yes to the second one, congrats we can move on to step 2

TRAINING

regardless of what you think, slaves do NOT come off of an assembly line, although it would make our lives easier wouldnt it? but i digress, slaves wont know how to please you from the first moment, so you have to train them to know what you like even if what you like changes everyday, slaves, it is your duty (if you are truely interested in making him/her happy) to learn what he likes and loves. Masters, do not, and i repeat do NOT use this as an excuse to make absurd thing up for her to do just to say you love them and feel like you are in power, the moment she says " i want to be released" you have no choice but to let her go. slaves, this does not give you an excuse to make you feel empowered to get him to do whatever he wants. I have had a few relationships where the woman said "if you dont do this ill want to be released" at that point i say "then you are released" the look on their face after, im not going to lie, is priceless. slaves, we do not take ultimatums lightly, we WILL cast you aside and wait possibly 5 or more years to find a slave who wants the lifestyle to serve, not be served.

At this point you are probably thinking im crazy. which i probably am by society standards of normality, but i do know what im talking about. at this point love can be a factor, once she realizes its an absolute pleasure to make you happy so you can continue to care for her, then love strikes This is the point where most things go wrong.

LOVE is a very fickle thing ladies and gentlemen. it makes the most smart person do dumb things and not even be able to notice hes doing it. there may be love, but dont let it change the nature of the relationship.

once a slave is fully trained by the masters standards the slave is then collared. although most people wont know this, but it will let others in the lifestyle know that she is someones slave. and not to touch. slaves, this collar, is not just some sort of jewelry or equipment, it is the Highest honor a slave can have. do NOT take it lightly, the very fact that you have one means your master thinks you have proven yourself and are worthy of it. Any questions please post below, or tell me how im doing with the teaching so far.